Humour

Monday, 7 December 2009, 3:20 pm
Press Release: CAFCA

The nine finalists for the 2009 Roger Award for the Worst Transnational Corporation Operating in Aotearoa/New Zealand are (in alphabetical order): ANZ, BNZ, Infratil, Newmont, Rio Tinto Aluminium NZ, Rymans, Telecom, Transpacific and Westpac. There are two finalists for the Accomplice Award – the Business Round Table, and the Auckland City Council and its officials (as part of the nomination of Transpacific Industries). FULL STORY

In the words of Lady Bracknell (The Importance of Being Earnest) To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

I guess I have been careless, that said, a lot has passed me by and somethings have landed.

I was listening to Mike Hosking ( a momentary lapse of reason) and he was pondering why everyone was so in to this rocket launch. Well Mike, it is a fucken rocket, you know, a rocket, no? No, I guess I shouldn’t expect a Lycra wearing, hair gel using radio announcer to appreciate a rocket. Then on the other hand, those of us who can recognise the smell of methanol, gunpowder, av gas and has had more than his or her fair share of JD’s, or Lion Red, knows their way round Western Springs blindfold, will know, IT’S A FUCKEN ROCKET MIKE …..

Meanwhile I have to laugh at the still vacant Retravision building. The retro visionary of an owner has managed to turn it into an uninviting chasm. Why he didn’t put some windows in it so you could save some electricity and see what is one of the best views on the island is well beyond me.

I got home the other day tofind  a Jehovahs’ Witness pamphlet proclaiming “would you like to know the truth” sitting on the doorstep. Funnily enough I know the truth (apart from the fact their end of world came and went years ago, hence they have well and truly passed their use by date) How could a Jehovas Witness couple abandon their own son on the side of the road in Takapuna after dragging him to a foreign country on the other side of the world. I would have dearly loved to have been here to ask them directly.

Brilliant to see the Fullers spin doctors out celebrating the Kea’s 21st  birthday, woo hoo, aren’t you really saying it is old?

The recent, hard hitting pull no punches, Gulf News interview with John Banks proved without a doubt that he has David Hays hand right up his arse.

Dear John,

There is no substance to that perpetually spouted drivel about of the cost of Waiheke waste collection under Clean Stream vs. TPI. When you are ready to release the true figures give us a call however we won’t hold our breath as we all know you are just a puppet mayor and David Hay and his C & R team really run council.

The Cynic

So Fullers have finally conceded that the Quickcat is in fact the Slow Dog and can’t do the run in the touted 35 minutes. Tell a story often enough and people will believe it. Instead of beefing up the horsepower,  or simply opening the throttle, Fullers have decided that in order for the punters meet their connecting bus and trains, wait for it,  the 7:20 will become the 7:15 from early October. Trust Fullers to be on the cutting edge of progress.

Sorry, Zero decay wasn’t immediately obvious. Thanks for the laugh anyway.

It’s good to see the Potty one doesn’t let a chance go by with her crusade to have the speed limit lowered on Onetangi Rd (often referred to as Onetangi Straight). Since when have piss-heads obeyed speed limits? Perhaps the Potty one could actually get the Police out of the doughnut shops and onto the road. In the 5 years I have been driving that 80k stretch of road I have never seen a Police patrol.

Doug Hudson reported a failed fan on the Superflyte caused a sewerage stink through the cabin. Is Doug forgetting he has no fans.

Spectacular Ocean & Beach Views

Had to laugh ay the sign at the Beach Front Cafe that declares “Spectacular Ocean & Beach Views”